Yesterday, Widgit went in for blood work and it confirmed what I knew in my heart. Her tests showed that her kidneys have totally shut down. She is weak and has been losing weight again despite getting her daily SubQ’s which she still fights like her life depended on it.
Our vet described the euthanasia process and said we can pick a time over the next few days…going much longer will just make it harder on Widgit. Peter and I discussed it and decided that in her current state, a few more days are not going to add more to her life and may distract more from our 15 years of great memories of her. We did decide to wait until the right doctor, who is much more cat-focused, is working.
I only wish that we could make the same decision for our people-loved ones. While we can all hope for miracles, you know when the end has come and there is no reason to stretch it out at all costs.
She was always my Christmas kitten and loved setting up the tree, playing with ornaments and “helping me decorate”. This picture is from last year – I probably have pictures from each year. Last night, Idecided to set up the tree for her. She came out and sat with me. She rubbed on the boxes and sniffed at the tree. She laid down and watched me decorate until I turned the tree lights on. She sat and stared at them for a few minutes. She looked at me as if saying “Thanks mom” and then retired to her sleeping spot in the bathroom.
I’m trying not to cry but it’s just not working… I feel like my face is permanently set into ugly-cry state! Every hour I decide I’m not going to cry but that lasts about 2 minutes. I have a bunch of stupid meetings this morning – maybe they’ll distract me enough… or not. Yesterday I started balling with my hairdresser – luckily he was the the only one there!
Do tears run out?